Good Ol' TV

The good 'ol days. One TV for picture, one TV for sound.

Wednesday is not a great TV night.  I only have Modern Family on today's primetime agenda.  The need to be entertained by the glowing boob tube can be a strong force in my life.  But, there's not much temptation the better part of the week.  What happened to the days when you looked forward to the same shows every Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday...?  Every episode would be a good one and you could rely on reruns all summer long. 

These days every show is a "test" show.  Just as you get interested in one, they pull it!  By the time it returns to the lineup three months later, you've already replaced that time slot with a different new show.  Then it gets canceled.  Recyclable TV. 

I miss the good days when new shows had actual new concepts.  And, we would watch the reruns in the summer time because Rudy Huxable clenching her fists and singing, "Baby!  Baby! ♫" was just as hilarious upon multiple viewings.

I lived for The Cosby Show, The Muppet Show, Golden Girls, The Love Boat, The Brady Bunch, Diff'rent Strokes, Facts of Life, CHiPs, Who's the Boss, T.J. Hooker, Kate & Allie, Cagney & Lacey, Moonlighting, Head of the Class, Growing Pains, Family Ties, Simon and Simon, Dukes of Hazzard, Little House on the Prairie, Happy Days, The Waltons, Silver Spoons, Square Pegs and any other show I forgot to thank.

Sure, most programs were situation comedies or cop shows back then.  Maybe they weren't actually as good as I remember because I was just more easily impressed at that age.  But, I loved my TV time!

Hubba hubba!

I had my crushes:  Gopher, Peter Brady, Willis, Chad Allen, Gerald McRaney, Michael J. Fox, Luke Duke, Potsie, Ponch and any other dark-haired hunk with an odd nickname starting with "P".  Ricky Schroeder was the first guy I ever hung on my wall and the first name I ever drew a heart around on a Trapper Keeper.

I questioned how others became heart throbs: Kirk Cameron, Fred Savage and Doogie Howser with their Brillo pad hairdos.  (All handsome men now, though.)  Obnoxious Larry from Three's Company.  The teenage son from Mr. Belvedere.  And, how did Doc from The Love Boat get so much action?  That never made any sense.

There were the girls I wanted to be:  Alyssa Milano, the redhead from Head of the Class, Mallory Keaton, Jo from Facts of Life, Marcia Brady, the brunette daughter from Kate and Allie, Punky Brewster.

I'm the sole sister to escape this haircut.

The girls I wondered how they became sex symbols:  Joanie Cunningham, Janet from Three's Company, Julie and Vicki from The Love Boat. Mainly because they all had short hair and I didn't understand how a Dorothy Hamill  bowl cut could be deemed cute.  (Except on Joey Lawrence, of course.)

"Reality" TV was limited to the news and PBS documentaries.  Talent competitions were the likes of Star Search, Dance Fever and That's Incredible.  Variety shows were all the rage (Love you Carol Burnett!  Tug, tug.)  And, for some reason, we liked to watch other people dance. (Soul Train, Solid Gold, American Bandstand...)  Alot.

My younger brother, sister and I used to actually play American Bandstand.  One of us would be the camera man (That was the boring role, like being the banker in Monopoly.)  The other two would be the dancers.  We'd dance around lackadaisically until the cameraman (usually my brother) would aim at you, then you shake your bon-bon in overly-exaggerated ways for your "close-up".  Then, as the camera would move away, you'd go back to your lazy left-together, right-together move.  We were young, but we were observant!  Don't think we didn't notice Bandstand dancers!  We'd see you in the background looking bored, but when it was time for your close-up the arms would fly up, the hips would suddenly grind to life and your shoulders would react as if Pat Benatar had taken possession them.  Yeah, we were on to you too, lazy Solid Gold dancers.

There are still new concepts that crop up now and then to my utter delight.  And, some clever twists on classic concepts.  Rare gems like Lost, My So-Called Life, Freaks and Geeks (like Square Pegs, but with better writing), Glee, The Office (introducing America to the "They're filming a documentary in my workplace!" trend.)  And, cable TV has introduced us to rock docs, nostalgia countdowns (I Love the 80's, One Hit Wonders of the 90's...etc.) and home improvement makeover shows.  Ain't all bad.

So, some people may call me a TV addict but I don't think that's true.  I only watched 30 minutes of television tonight (Blogger pop quiz: Do you remember which show I was watching?)  I don't think I spend any more time in front of the tube than the average American viewer.  I just willingly admit to it.  And, I'm guessing most of you caught every vintage television reference and character I mentioned in the above paragraphs.  It's okay.  We're all in this together.  You take the good, you take the bad... It's how our nation unwinds.

Now, quick, raise your hand if you know who George Glass is.  Your hand is up!  I caught ya!