Tuesday, August 9, 2011

What I Miss About the 90's


Me, Homer & fanny pack, circa 1991

I can't lie.  The 1980's was hands-down the most nostalgic decade I've lived through thus far.  With its unicorns, leg-warmers, rubber bracelets and crushing on Michael Jackson.  It is the best decade to dedicate a theme party to and the slouchy boots were super rad.  But, now that the younger generation has caught on, I've been getting a slight case of 80's overkill.

What, with Katy Perry in her mismatched neon, Lady Gaga thinking she wrote "Express Yourself" and Rihanna transforming from Island beauty to Rainbow Brite overnight.  Gag me with a spoon until I barf up Strawberry Shortcake!

Donna Martin graduates!
It makes me wonder if the 90's will ever be retro cool.  What would your costume be for a 90's party?  Barbara Bush?  Ace Ventura?  The 90's may not have been as bold and colorful as it's predecessor, but it marked the end of my teen years and ushered me into my adult ones, so it holds up equally nostalgia-wise for me. 

Here are some things I miss about the 90's:
  • Liking every song of Pearl Jam's "Ten". I don't know if I ever met another cd (who are we kidding, "cassette tape") that I could play start to finish without skipping a track.
  • Bomber jackets.
  • That moment of clarity when we finally realized that bangs frozen into the shape of a seashell was not a sexy idea!
  • Conan O'Brien, pre-confidence.
  • Beverly Hills 90210 - While I'm waiting for Dylan McKay to escort me to prom, I'll take this moment to state the influence of the 90210 haircut. Straight and long with bangs? Check. Scrunchee? Check. Short and layered with baby barrettes? Check. Tadpoles eyebrows? Double-check. 
  • Madonna's Truth or Dare and Evita eras.
  • Chris Farley :(
  • ...and the rest of the SNL gang. Sandler, Spade, Hartman, Myers, Carvey, Nealon, Chris Rock, Julia Sweeney and Melanie Hutsell (undersung, but I loved her! Remember, Jan Brady, Tori Spelling, Delta Delta Delta?)  Best decade ever!  I can quote every Gap Girls sketch and the entire Wayne's World script for further proof if you need me to.  No?  Just let me know.  I'm ready for it.
  • Jordan Catalano, My So-Called Life. (Who's Jared Leto?)
  • Grunge music. All of it!
  • Clueless (How many of you watched it  for the 50th time just for the clothes?)
  • Doc Martens with baby doll dresses. (Somebody bring it back and I'm totally down.)
  • Blossom "Whoa!"
  • Roseanne being cool.
  • Hip hop at its most fun.
  • The Real World, when it was a documentary/social project.
  • Quentin Tarantino at his finest.
  • These pants:

Of course, with the good comes the bad.  Some things I don't miss about the 90's:
  • Lee Press-on nails.
  • Taper-legged jean that are much too roomy on top and practically meet your underwire. "You just have to cinch them!"
  • Growing out those seashell bangs!
  • David Silver. (Sorry, dude. You were never cool no matter how black you tried to be.)
  • Madonna's geisha phase.
  • The SNL purge (Why did they fire all the women at once?  And, way too many R.I.Ps for one cast.)
  • Dark eyeliner and dark lips?
  • ...Or better yet, lip liner sans lipstick?
  • Sweaters/sweatshirts layered with turtlenecks.  I mean, really... How cold were we?!
  • Donna Martin "does it" and the show jumps the shark.
  • Fanny packs.
  • Spandex pants, shorts, tops... Layered under skirts, worn alone... not as workout clothes. (And, usually not on the physically fit.)  Blech!
  • Blossom's hats
  • Sun-in! (Or, in my cheap case... peroxide mixed with water in a spray bottle. Add blow-dryer 'til orange to your satisfaction.)
  • Body-suit + clown pants
  • Body-suits. I'll admit, after the years of stealing our dad's/brother's/boyfriend's flannel shirts, it was definitely time for something more fitted up top. But, I think  there should have been some kind of happy medium. Just thinking about my grown-up onesies is giving me a wedgie! 

Well, that was a fun trip down memory lane.  I'm glad my hair suffered no permanent damage. I think we proved that some good things got left in the millennial dust. Caboodles that once kept me so very organized.  And, Northern Exposure... such a good show!   I want to know how so many of our once-favorite rappers and rock stars end up on Celebrity Rehab, The Surreal Life or... pick your poison... dating their way around VH1?!  (Total pun intended.)

Well, I can't answer you that. But, I will present one last question that remains to be answered above all...
 
    
      ...What on earth will I do with this box full of pogs?

3 comments:

)O( Figgy )O( said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Tim said...

The 90's were awesome and Ten was absolutely one of the best albums of the decade. Every song on it is a classic. Funny story about POGS. My and my friend were 19 going to Westland mall asking some guy at a kiosk what these pogs were. He ended up just giving us pogs because it was a kids game and thought it was funny we were so interested in them. We went several times and got lots of free pogs and cool slammers from him. I love the 90's.

Keekerdee said...

I was in my 20's when Pogs came out. The only reason I have them is because we sold them at the video store I worked at. The O.J. one is two-sided. (It's actually a "slammer", the pogs were the cardboard disc part of the game. Still don't understand what the game is.) It came in our inventory before the trial was over. I thought it was clever and possibly collectable.