Sunday, March 1, 2015

F.U. Flu!


Well, that's a gross image above!

Even grosser, I've had every one of those symptoms within the past few days.

The flu is such a pill and an inconvenience, but a great excuse to stay in bed and vegetate.

In the past four days, I've progressed from feeling a little yucky, to blech, to barf, to "I'd better just stay in bed", to a 12-hour bout with the whiny man-flu (yes, women... it can happen to you), to "I think I can eat again!", to "Why did I just eat that?", to angry dinosaur tummy, to "I really can eat, but why does my body still hurt so badly and why is walking to the bathroom so exhausting?"

Today's flu stage is a promising one. It's the stage where I've emptied out the DVR, read all of the magazines, ran out of Netflix titles on my list, reached the bottom of my Pinterest feed and have completely explored the Internet in its entirety.

There is absolutely no other form of entertainment to be found from my bed, (well, there is always blogging... and, so, check!) which means I must now will myself back to health because I've simply become too bored to be sick any longer.

Yes, my tongue is still white from dehydration. My muscles feel like someone's been practicing electroshock therapy on them. My throat feels as if someone's been scraping it with a salad fork in my sleep. And, I can't tell if I'm still feverish, or if I've simply had my laptop resting on my stomach for too many hours on end.*

But, I've decided: Today is the day! I will get dressed even! (Yoga pants count as clothes, right?) I will wash (or, at least, change) this germ-ridden bedding! I will walk up and down the stairs without resting in between! I will set the alarm for work tomorrow! I will drink all of the water so my tongue becomes pink again! I will wash my hair and (maybe) shave my legs!

I will do it all! I think I can, I think I can, I kinda know I maybe can...

I just need to take one more nap first.

Zzzzzzzz...



*Please remember to refer me to this post if, in the future, you ever hear me whining of a sudden and unexplained bout with infertility. I fear this laptop may have fried my eggs as well.