"My sister loves Lionel Richie!" I'd been caught chanting this on any number of occasion, in any number of places, at any given moment throughout the year of 1984.
I loved Lionel Richie too, don't get me wrong. His songs were on constant replay on my red-and-white striped portable record player as well. It's just I loved Lionel Richie, the singer. She loved Lionel Richie, the man!
This was her first confessed crush (mine was Ricky Schroeder) so there was definitely some novelty in finally knowing a name of a boy that my sister was in love with. And as her little sister, of course, I felt it was my obligation was to taunt her and broadcast it to the world. I'd been waiting for this kind of ammunition for years, without even realizing it!
Lionel Richie, the man. We're all looking at the same picture up above, right? I'm guessing, as far as Lionel was concerned, this was his "come hither" face. To me, it just looked like he was experiencing mild back pain while also suffering from several popcorn kernels lodged between the teeth. To perfect the pose, someone in a frightening Halloween mask may have also been commissioned to jump out at him, at the most opportune moment, while screaming, "BOOGITY-BOO!" [Flash bulb] "Perfecto! We've got our album cover!" No, it may not plead "come hither", but it might possibly say, "Hello". (If we talking strictly in the sense of horror movie--you hear footstep creaking in the hallway--"hellooo???")
Well, love knows not from whence it comes, but I certainly can tell you where love is declared. On my older sister's bedroom wall and by way of a homemade "I ♥ Lionel Richie" sign that was scotch-taped to the poster below:
There must have been something alluring about that cheesy "Gotcha!" smile that tickled sister's fancy. I don't know how many hours she spent daydreaming while looking at this shot (because I, obviously, wasn't allowed in her room by this point.) But, I'd have to guess for probably at least as many hours as I spent pondering the physics involved in his sliding-down-the-pole pose. Feet out?! (Admit it. You too think he's actually trampolining up, right? Darn you eighties camera trickery!)
But, thankfully, she moved on to Scott Baio and eventually to my brother-in-law (the complete physical opposite of Lionel Richie.) And, good thing too. I'd hate to think how much embarrassment I could have caused her at she and Lionel's wedding. "If anyone has just cause why this couple should not be lawfully wed..." "Um. I don't have any objections. I just really need you to be frank with us before we proceed... You were jumping on a trampoline in that shot, weren't you?"
Phew. We really dodged a bullet there.
But, even more than the pole jumping poster and the sisterly taunts, when I think of of Lionel Richie, I think of Hello. The video is forever burned in my memory and the lyrics forever woven into my heartstrings. (However wrongly they were actually woven for a couple of years. As a kid I always sang, "I sometimes feel my heart wheel overflow ♫" It was quite some time before I realized he was actually singing "heart will..." Dang it, if you'd just enunciate Lionel! I could easily explain my rendition though. A heart wheel is like a water wheel. It's the chamber of the heart in which the love is properly stirred and propelled.)
We all remember the video, right? Performing arts teacher, Lionel, heart-achingly stalking his blind female student (student/teacher relations weren't so frowned upon in the mid-eighties...) who was, unknowingly and simultaneously, constructing this bust of our hero:
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| Perhaps she thought she was being taught by Billie Dee Williams? |
He longed to see the sunlight in her hair. I longed to know how she did her eye makeup with such precision, you know, considering...
But, cheesy video images aside. The song does live on and on. Just when you begin to forget how good and raw and simply poetic the lyrics are, someone else comes out with a marvelous remake of it and our hearts wheels overflow once again.
And, let's never forget the original:
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