The Leisure Hiker

I am a leisure hiker.

I'm adding the word "leisure" to that term, as not to be confused with the excessively-calved folks dressed in orange and khaki who find pure joy romping up and down the Appalachian Trail.  I call it hiking because it generally happens in the woods, but "wanderer" or "meanderer" may be more suitable titles for the likes of me.

When I hike, I am not looking to do any of the following:

• Keep track of any numbers.  Heart rate, miles walked, time... No!  Numbers are not welcome in the woods with me.  Unless I'm counting deer or butterflies.
• Be a pack mule.  Sleeping bags, tents and changes of clothing are also unwelcome.  I won't be gone more than an hour or two, so a small pack will suffice.  Wallet, water, granola bar, keys, camera and the occasional small notepad are all that are invited.
• Eat weird things.  See above granola bar.
• Pee in unusual places. (Although, I can't claim this has never been done.)
• "Survive".  On purpose or in any extreme sense of the word.

I've tried the whole survival trip thing once in my life.  Yes, not a survival day hike.  ONE WHOLE WEEK.  Extreme.  Needless to say I lasted 2/3-of-a-day on the survival part before my--undiagnosed until then--hypoglycemia (and all-around wimpiness) reared its ugly head.  Dry-heaving over the side of a canoe and eight hours of the blood sugar shakes showed me my limits.  I spent the rest of the week sent back to the "nice" side of the Canadian Wilderness, but still had to live out of a pack, eat bland food cooked over campfire and pee in a lake to avoid the splintery latrine. While in glasses, I might add.

But, I did hear a moose pass by tent one night.  (Biggest regret of my life is that I was too chicken to unzip the window and take a peek.)  I eventually learned how to properly canoe.  And, somehow managed to get myself talked into this:

So there are some stories of bravery to be told in my old age.

Hikes for me now are just mini-adventures.  Pick a trail, have the camera out, follow wherever your feet lead and deal with whatever comes your way.  Even if it's this:

Cross a log, if a log lay ahead.  Not because you have to, but because it's fun.  Take alot of pictures of anything you deem splendid.  Stalk some animals you have no intention of killing. 

I can't tell you how many hours of my life I've spent creeping after little fawns in the woods.  I don't know what the bigger thrill for me; the fact that they let me keep so close, the beauty of the lovely things or the adrenaline rush of the thought that a mama may come charging out of the trees at any minute to stomp me square in the face.  I've learned this is a much safer risk taken with deer as opposed to, say, black bears.  I once tailed two fawn with two rowdy nephews in tow.  We came across the mother, who just stood silently in the camouflage of the woods and left her babies to our mercy.  I don't know if she was "testing" her offspring, if we just didn't seem like a big enough threat, or if self-survival is simply more important in the deer kingdom.  One thing's for sure, she had no intention of protecting her young.  And, she thought she had us fooled standing there with twigs in her face, thinking she completely blended in while I snapped a half-dozen pictures of her.  Oh deer!

Whatever your adventure, mega or mild, get on out there.  There are wondrous things you are obligated to see as citizens of this earth.  God let you live here, you might as well enjoy it!