Monday, August 1, 2011

Hummer Bummer

See that rough and rugged yellow vehicle in the picture above? It's a minivan.  See it climb unheard of terrain with grace and ease?  Minivan.

I thought the above vehicle was a Hummer.  Silly me.  I guess that's just because it so closely resembled something I first saw Arnold Schwarzenegger arriving to an early-'90s movie premiere in (while his then-wife sat embarrassed-looking in the passenger seat.)

It also reminded me of those military vehicles you see in news footage whipping through the desert and finagling mountains ranges far and wide.  But, I was reminded I was wrong when I had one pull up next to me in the suburbs today, with a perky middle-aged soccer mom looking so tiny behind the wheel. 

That suspension system I thought built for the roughest of off-road terrain is really for navigating over stray shopping carts in the most hazardous of parking lot.  That luggage rack is not for gathering the corpses of terrorists, but for neatly stowing young boys' hockey equipment. Row of lights on top for evening beach parties and firefly hunting. And, convenient chrome running boards, aiding your little one's climb to its booster seat with ease.

It's such a humbling day when you find out you were wrong about something. But, if you still don't believe me, here's further proof:


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