Saturday, August 6, 2011

Magazine Day

Today is Magazine Day, as frivolous as it seems. Magazine Day is the day I pounce on the mailbox and proceed to vacate all head space for an hour or two.  I look forward to it and am not ashamed.

Magazine Day used to fall on Fridays.  For reasons unknown, it is now a Saturday holiday.  I'm still convinced it's because my mailman figured out how to save hundreds of dollars a year by taking my mail home for the night. I cannot prove this. It is pure speculation. (But, probably true, don't you think?)

Magazine Day is an important part of my weekend ritual.  Weekends are for sleeping in, catching up with family and recharging. Glossy periodicals delivered directly to my home is an important part of step three of that process.

Here's how today's Saturday went: Awaken at 9-ish by a wicked charley horse in my right calf (Why are they called that, by the way? Something tells me Charley's horse is getting a bad rap on this one!)  Lie there groaning 'til ten, because I have no reason to get up before ten anyhow. Limp around the house complaining about said equine of Charley's that has now formally claimed squatter's rights in my leg. Eat breakfast, check Facebook and kill some bad guys on Empires and Allies until I hear my dad walk in with the mail. (Yes, I live my parents. But, another blog another time with that subject.)

I carry on the Saturday tradition by threatening, "There'd better be magazines in there!" And there it is. One People, one Entertainment Weekly. (A sad magazine day is when they don't even show up by Saturday. My recharging schedule gets all discombobulated and I don't know what to do with them once they finally do show up on Monday. By then, my weekend is shot!)  I peruse the covers so I know what I have in store for later.  On a magazine day with no plans, I'll usually read them with my lunch. On one with plans, I hide them away until later.

Today, was of the latter, so I scouted today's hiding spot. Looked back at it twice... solid stares to lock the location into my memory bank (you don't want to forget where they're stashed!)... and go on about my plans for the day. ***Side-note: I'm not hiding them out of paranoia. Chuckle, chuckle. And, I don't necessarily have to the first one to read them (even though I am the one paying for the subscriptions.) I just have three simple rules if you're perusing them before me: 1) Don't do it when I'm home, 2) Put it back in it's proper spot when you're done. There's nothing worse than finally discovering them three days later on the back of a sweaty toilet tank, and 3) Don't discuss anything you've read until I've read it too.  However, if the day's plan take place outside of the home, no hiding place required.***

As, the planned part of my day starts to wind down and goodbyes are being said, the tired part my mind flashes to the hiding spot.  (Oh good! I remembered it!)  For Magazine Day is now part of my routine and I've forgotten how to wind down with out it.

Magazine time usually consists of three heats. The first, fast-paced flipping and looking at pictures while choosing which articles I want to flip back to.  Heat two, is for reading short one-page articles and quickies like movie reviews, quotes of the week, etc.  Heat three, cover stories and longer articles.  If it's a particularly slow weekend or the cover story is of noninterest, heat four may be required.  This final leg, consisting of things you don't really care about but you're bored enough to read, as to get your money's worth out of those glossy pages. Usually regarding movies you won't see, people you don't care about, or music you have no interest in listening to. When done right, your mind should begin to slow mid-way through heat two and be proper gelatin by the end of heat three. 

And, those annoying cards falling into your lap throughout the marathon are a waste of trees but are also good reminder.  Magazine Day used to start with a visit to the local retailer's newsstand.  One day I sat down and I did the math and those cards are right! You really do save a significant amount off the cover price by subscribing (even if you don't normally buy every single issue off the rack.)  As an added bonus, by avoiding the magazine racks you're guaranteeing that you won't be spending extra money on those extra couple of tabloids---that you know you shouldn't be reading, but somehow managed to pick up on impulse.  The math is especially true of women's magazines, which you usually can usually get a year's worth of issues for a one time payment of $7-$12. 

I don't know what it is about Magazine Day, but it works for me.  Maybe you shop or spend your little bit of weekend cash on a nice dinner and a movie, but this is how I unwind.  A brain will not properly recharge without being put on slow-mo for a bit each week. And, as an added result, I can talk pop-culture with the best of them!  Today, it even helped me forget about my charley horse for a little awhile. ('Til I stood up briefly before heat three, that is. "Neigh!")

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