Nosy Neighbor

Just so you know, if you see me out on a walk anywhere near your house, I'm most likely:

• Inner-critiquing your landscaping, color choice of siding and shutters and any interior decorating I can see through your windows when the curtains are drawn.
• Mocking your canine's watchdog skills.
• Luring your cat to the sidewalk with my pro "Kitty kitty kitty" calls.
• Judging your kids if they're misbehaving in the front yard.
• Saying a friendly "hello" to the ones who are well-behaved (even though they don't respond because I represent "stranger danger" and you've taught them well.)
• Counting your Spring buds and comparing that data to the last time I walked by.
• Wondering why your husband isn't at work.
• Acting disgusted at the teenage smoker blaring music out of the car you shouldn't have bought them because they don't deserve it.
• Dodging the garbage that missed the can at the end of your driveway.
• Dodging the can at the end of your driveway that blew over in the wind because you didn't retrieve it last trash day.
• Wishing you weren't parked in such a way that you're blocking the sidewalk and I have to pass through a puddle in the wet grass to get by.
• Secretly envying the fact that you own a home; no matter the paint color, dead grass, rowdy residents or noisy pets.

P.S. Just so you further know, most people are doing this when they walk by. I'm just an openly nosy neighbor and willing to admit it.