Halloween is over and I have nothing to show for it. All those kids, all those bags of candy and all I ended up with was a bunch of rocks...
Oops! What I meant was, "All those kids, all those bags of candy and all I have to show for it was one fun-size Snicker that my sister gave me as a pity offering after I pitched a whining fit." Oh yeah, and those few Gobstobbers my five-year-old nephew shoved into my mouth without permission. After he spilled them all over the floor. Twice.
Oh well. I learned my lesson about sugar long ago. I thought I might at least be able to nab a leftover bag of Fritos or Cheetos that we were passing out at our house, but by the time we returned from the streets only two bags of plain ol' Lays remained. Hard to eat just one? Even easier to eat zero! Blech. Then I whined some more and my sister-in-law ponied up some Doritos out of one of her kids' sacks. Since I've become too old to pull off the "Trick or Treat", I'm learning that whining is the next best alternative to getting my hands on some Halloween loot.
We started out, though, with two Star Wars guys. (Which is which and what is what is beyond me.) One Star Wars mask got replaced by a winter hat and one light saber burnt out by the time we actually needed it to signal our presence when walking home down my pitch dark street (all parties dressed in dark colors as our luck would have it. Oops!)
We had one purple-haired purple-broomed witch whose broom never left the house and whose wig ended up in the back of the stroller before the end of the first street. Although, the wig was too much for her to bear, she did confide in me that she would like purple hair in real life, and I may have promised her she could have that at the age of sixteen. (Was that something I should have gotten parental consent on first?) So, in the end, her gig was just playing a cute kid dressed in black, earning candy with her winning smile and polite "Trick or Treat"s. When you're that adorable, people tend not to notice that your costume has all but evaporated.
We had one Foofa, which you'll be clueless about if you have no one of Yo Gabba Gabba-viewing age living under your roof. The senior citizens may have been clueless but, to the ten-and-under crowd, this Foofa was a rock star! She got stopped so many times, which didn't much impress her, since this was just slowing down our door-raiding process. One lady insisted on taking her picture, and what could she do? Her padded Foofa hips were too trapped in the stroller to make a quick getaway!
We had one skeleton and one princess with their own plan of action. They covered entire blocks in the time it would take us to maneuver our Foofa and wig-filled stroller up one driveway and back down again. To teenagers, candy seems to be a certain kind of currency. And, these girls are apparently saving up for college. So, we may have been a little bit slower with Foofa's mitten unable to catch the candy being handed to her. Especially, seeing that the Foofa controlling that mitten was falling fast asleep. At least these teens had moxy. Way to efficiently use that time girls! Hope your homework sees this kind of care and planning!
We also had an adorable chain of mini-cousins in tow, which we tend to lose track of earlier and earlier each Halloween night. Our family parade is getting so long that we seem to no longer have the ability to make it around bends in the road in completion. That's becoming our new family tradition.
By, the time it gets dark, we almost start collecting other people's kids who are dressed in similar costumes to our own gang's. Both my sister and I almost yelled at the same masked Star Wars character who was sitting with a bowl passing out candy down the street. We thought our own nephew commandeered the bowl! Close call. Good thing the words never came out, because we certainly wanted to laugh about it later!
We circled a good route, found a hidden street handing out full-sized candy bars and only had to avoid one haunted house. We ended up heading back in just the proper amount of time because, even though I plead with all the usual suspects about using the potty before leaving the house, someone still had to go! Me.
I tried telling one of the boys about how these are the same streets his daddy and aunts and uncle used to trick or treat down when we were kids. He stood stunned in his mask. I repeated, "These very same houses. Isn't that cool?" His mask no longer seeming stunned, but unreadable. I think from behind the mask he may have been projecting the thought of, "Quit yapping, you're blocking the next driveway! Candy candy candy candy..." If this was the case, his mask remained politely silent. So, as a reward for showing such restraint, I stepped out of his way and let him carry on with the begging.
One day they'll get it. And, maybe that will be the same day they start sharing the good candy with me.
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