It's Sunday so, of course, I found myself in the company of my brother's kids again which, of course, found us in the car at some point which, of course, once again led to silly little boy talk. (It's better than the radio on a good day. On a bad day, not so much.)
We were driving down a country road as Fourteen-year-old Sister blissfully watched the scenery of pretty houses go by and began to describe her own dream home. This led Ten-year-old (previously referred to as "9YO" but, he just had a birthday, so you'll have to adapt) to ramble on about his own dream residence. (Funnily enough, each of their dream homes have only one bedroom.) Which left the coda to this fantasy-spilling session to the six-year-old (yes, previously "5YO" and also with a recent birthday.)
"I just want a normal house. Normal normal normal. One bedroom, one bathroom, one kitchen and one laser to keep the bad guys out."
You could almost audibly hear him ponder whether or not a house with the security of a sizzling laser-zapping system was allowed under his definition of "normal", so he quickly corrected himself:
"No, wait. No laser. Just a normal house with one bedroom, one bathroom and one cat. If a bad guy comes in I'll just ask him, 'Will you please leave now and stop terrorizing my cat?' If he doesn't listen I'll give him one knuckle. If he still doesn't listen I'll give him another knuckle. If he still doesn't listen it's a knuckle to the balls and then I beat him up." (five second pause) "Oh. And, I'll have one dog too."
The price of admission to my Trailblazer has just gone up.
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