The Revenant: Review

I predict an award season sweep for The Revenant. And, if this prediction is to come to pass, it will be very well deserved.

Those who remember my lack of award season support for Alejandro Inarritu's last directing effort, Birdman, (at least in the directing category) will be please to hear that I've pulled a total 180 in terms of recognizing this year's directing (producing and writing) effort as a job 100% well done.

Stories like The Revenant are hard to come by in today's modern cinema.  A flawless, three act, fully-thought out script captured to perfection by brilliant camera work, acting, set design, makeup and seamless use of CGI. Each act allotted to its own hour which, in order, could have been simply titled as The Why, The Survival and The Revenge.

Although there were many other films to love this year, The Revenant as a whole was the perfect package. (And, since The Hateful Eight was snubbed in all of the big categories, I can now publicly throw my full support behind The Revenant.)

Here's my support of the sweep in each category:

Cinematography: AMAZING!!! I've been critical in the past of too-close camera work. (Beasts of the Southern Wild) But, today, while I watched the lens fog up as Leonardo DiCaprio's Hugh Glass painfully pulled in and out each sleeping breath... I thought to myself, "THIS is when you decide against the slow pan and just shove the camera right up in there!" Toughest Competition in this Category: The Hateful Eight. My eyes enjoyed both films for the same reason: The magnificent capturing of our nation's topography in the winter snow. Such a thing is much more appreciated on screen than in my driveway.

Visual Effects: I can already predict the Academy's choice of  using "The Bear Scene" while introducing The Revenant as a nominee. CGI has never been trickier and it will be the right choice. Toughest Competition in this Category: Any of the other nominees (Mad Max: Fury Road, The Martian, Ex Machina, Star Wars: The Force Awakens) should have a fair shake in this category. (Although, that bear alone, should give The Revenant an edge...)

Production Design: Come on...

We may also need to give an honorary award to the continent of North America for this. Toughest Competition in this Category: Well, The Martian's team did create Mars and all...

Film Editing: I completely humiliated myself by being the only one in the theater to audibly gasp during the "Horse/Cliff" scene. That's some good editing right there, not to mention the epic battle and fight scenes cut to perfection throughout. Toughest Competition in this Category: Possibly Mad Max: Fury Road. This genre tends to do well in the technical categories and, although I haven't seen the film yet, the trailer alone has enough cuts to impress in this category.

Sound Editing: Fight scenes, battle scenes, bear noise scenes, hallucinatory Pawnee voice scenes, Leo grunting scenes... the ingredients are all there. Toughest Competition in this Category: Any of the other nominees have a chance at taking this one home. The fact that Leo's voice didn't always seem to match up with his lips might be reason enough for this Oscar to slip out of grasp and ruin a full sweep.

Makeup and Hairstyling: Two scalped skulls and a thousand bear wounds just might seal this deal. Toughest Competition in this Category: I don't know what on earth The Hundred-Year-Old Man Who Climbed Out the Window and Disappeared is. But, it sounds like something some aging techniques may have been used in.

Costume Design: Furs, suede, leather... all the classic Western elements were there. Toughest Competition in this Category: Any other nominee. I love when the costume designers are allowed to shine in films that are otherwise not recognized during award season. I will not cry if we take a loss on this one. (And, at one point, Tom Hardy had a fleece blanket thrown over him that I swear could have been purchased at Walmart.)

Directing: Alejandro, Alejandro... please forgive my criticism of Birdman's single-shot steady cam experimentation. Consider this full endorsement as penance.  Toughest Competition in this Category: Not a chance he will lose this one.

Supporting Actor: for Tom Hardy's punk ass bitch... er, portrayal of Tom Fitzgerald. I absolutely hated him, so job well done. (I would have loved to see some recognition for Will Poulter in this category as well. If Leo was this picture's grit, that kid from We're the Millers was its heart. Maybe he'll be recognized with his cast at the SAGs?) Toughest Competition in this Category: I'm personally rooting for Sylvester Stallone as Rocky in Creed. And, no one's ever safe against Christian Bale.

Best Actor: I've been rooting for Leo's Oscar since What's Eating Gilbert Grape. This year is his best chance at being rewarded for his best role to date. Toughest Competition in this Category: Eddie Redmayne in The Danish Girl. I cannot find a more sensitive way to say this; but he went full trans at a time when it is very trendy to do so.

Best Picture: Add together all my endorsements above and this should equal a Best Picture statue to have and to hold. Toughest Competition in this Category: *crickets*

Oscar Picks 2015

I'm very proud of myself this year, for getting out to see five (yes, count 'em , a whopping FIVE) of the best picture nominees. This is a new record for me, pre-award show.

So, guess what that means. I've got more opinions than ever this year!

Here we go with my picks (not predictions...):

Cinematography: This year's movie makers upped the game on stunning cinematic quality. My cinematography picks this year are Birdman (quite possibly for the Christmas-lit liquor store scene alone... and since it wasn't nominated in the Production Design category) or Grand Budapest Hotel (because, every Wes Anderson film is a lesson in this art. Duh.)

Film Editing: Whiplash is my unlikely pick. I've never quite seen a music-based film that was shot almost like a war or action movie. Every lick of the drum was like a bullet whizzing by. It was a unique approach and left me impressed. But, I won't cry if American Sniper or Boyhood takes home this trophy either.

Production Design: Grand Budapest Hotel. Duh. No explanation needed.

Sound Editing: Birdman I will award for its innovative use of untuned drums and whatever other twanginess that was that put us directly inside the mind of a man that had become unraveled. American Sniper has my honorable mention for its traditional good job in this category.

Sound Mixing: I'm going with Whiplash or American Sniper here.

Screenplay- Adapted: Whiplash. Are you noticing any trends yet?

Screenplay- Original: Boyhood's writing was fine, but seemed very familiar. Like it had possibly lifted dialogue from Dazed and Confused (as well as one liquor store clerk.) I'm going to have to go with Birdman for original screenplay. There was alot of dialogue... good dialogue. And, every actor did an impressive job of reciting it all while riding out those long seamless shots.

Directing: This year's nominees seemed to be awarded by way of experimentation. We had Alejandro G. Inarittu and his single-shot, steadycam, no room for a breath, experiment with Birdman.  Richard Linklater's exhausting twelve year run putting together every scene for Boyhood. The problem is, I'm just not sure if either novelty paid off for me in either case. I'm in the minority, by not thinking the single-shot work in Birdman served its purpose in the way of impressing its audience. Yes, I'm impressed with the endurance of the cast, crew and everyone else involved with making those long, seamless scenes happen. I've read the interviews and understand Inarittu's artistic reasoning for these choices. But, it just didn't do anything for me in the audience. If the timeline of the film was a "real time" situation, I might have went for it. But, it wasn't, so it didn't. It actually, just made me kind of sea-sick. Boyhood, I finally watched last night, just in the nick of time to form a proper opinion. And, again, although I'm impressed with the marathon involved in piecing this film together... I think the actors were great... the story was fine... I just didn't see anything spectacularly over-achieving in the direction, besides a decade-long loyalty to the job. So, I'm tempted to award Wes Anderson in for Grand Budapest Hotel, even though it wasn't my favorite of his films. I always appreciate the hustle and painstaking attention to artistic detail he shows in every one of his movies and maybe it's time he finally gets his Oscar for it. He's got an eyeball like no one else's eyeball.

Animated Feature: Big Hero 6. Hands down. It was like a real movie. Not just a cartoon. I cried... multiple times. I laughed. I got scared. I've referred to this movie as an older kids perfect segue into their next level of movie-watching. And, I meant it.

Actor in a Leading Role: Michael Keaton (Birdman). And, I will be furious if he doesn't get this one! All of the other nominees are each great actors and all wonderful in their respective roles... but, man, what a comeback! Michael Keaton all the way!

Actress in a Leading Role: Although I hear these were all fine women's roles this year, none of the pictures really piqued my interest. (Sorry ladies! I know I sound like a total female sellout.) I go to the movies quite a bit. And, I see films to be entertained. So, I don't usually fall under the spell of heavy drama or watching people get sick, go insane or battle demons. I'm glad these roles exist for women actors, I'm just less likely to pony up my ten bucks at their releases. The one film I did catch in this category was Gone Girl. At the time I thought Rosamund Pike was annoyingly melodramatic and over-selling the part. But, by the end of the story you see that's exactly what she was called to do in such a role. I don't see her winning, though, and I'm sure Julianne Moore (Still Alice) will finish out her award season sweep. (P.S. If Jessica Chastain would have been nominated for A Most Violent Year, she would have had my vote.)

Actor in a Supporting Role:  This is my favorite category this year as Ethan Hawke was great in Boyhood, Edward Norton was as flawless as ever in Birdman. I didn't see Foxcatcher but I always love me some Mark Ruffalo. But, the one actor that will absolutely make me cry a thousand rivers if he does not win, is J.K. Simmons in Whiplash. Spectacular. Unfailing. J.K. not only had the best written role of the flock, but put the most into executing it with absolute precision.

Actress in a Supporting Role: For me, this is a toss up between Patricia Arquette in Boyhood (also my pick for best hair changes) and Emma Stone in Birdman. I hear Laura Dern was great in Wild, although I didn't get a chance to see it in time. The only thing that will tick me off is if Meryl Streep wins for Into the Woods. I love Ms. Streep. She's the best, without question. But, this role? Really?! What was the nomination committee thinking? Just because she was in something this year, doesn't give her a free pass.

Saving the best for last... [insert drumroll]

Best Picture: I've seen five. Yes, FIVE, remember. I have a fully formed opinion on this for a change. I've already stated my petty flaws with Boyhood and Birdman. They're not my winners. Even though I loved Birdman, Michael Keaton, Edward Norton, Emma Stone, Zack Galifianakis, Amy Ryan... everyone involved. Since I had any complaint at all... I can't cast my vote for the big prize in its direction. 

I've already stated that Grand Budapest Hotel was not my favorite Wes Anderson movie. So, bye bye. Not my pick. 

I LOVED American Sniper. Absolutely, loved it as my second favorite movie of the season. But, it had three glaring imperfections to me. 1.) Doll baby in the nursery scene. It totally took my head out of the movie. And, it was so obvious! C'mon Clint! 2.) The mile-long bullet shot. Very cool. But, I was suddenly transported from Saving Private Ryan to The Matrix. It didn't match any of the other camera work in the movie. I don't know how else they could have effectively shot that scene. But, not my job. I'm underpaid and in the audience. 3.) My heart soared in the closing credits, but it ended so abruptly for me. Just a sudden one sentence blurb and the movie was over, even though the scene seemed to be still rolling on script. I felt like something may have gotten chopped out at the last second. And, no. I didn't need to see "that" scene. I just felt Mr. Eastwood could have steered the boat to shore more smoothly. It was a sturdy vessel. It knew where it was going.

So, am I an overly picky movie-goer this year? I'm going to pick my second favorite movie apart and throw its lifeless baby doll to the birds?

Yes. I can afford to this year. Because there was one film that stood a mile above the others. I have no criticisms of it. It was a flawless masterpiece as far as I'm concerned. And, that movie was... Whiplash!

I was worried I was going to miss out on it completely, as it played it very limited windows in the Detroit-area. Then, when I finally able to get myself to a showing, it was sold out!

It was months after its release before I actually got a ticket in hand and my butt in a red cushioned seat. Where I then sat through the previews wondering if my months-long anticipation had killed my chances for the film living up to my expectations. 107 minutes later, it had not. 

Impeccable! Beyond expectation. Not one single complaint. Flawlessly cast. Perfectly filmed. The drama had a good build. And, the music... there are just no words. The final drum solo, alone, has me in tears while simultaneously shouting out, "HOLY S**T!!!" (Yes, that actually happened. I'd take this moment to apologize to my fellow audience members, but I believe they were all equally caught up in the rapture and didn't even notice me.)

Judging by the award season stats... I think this pick is a long shot. But, if the voters really did their job by watching every nominee... If they truly understand and respect their craft... If they can remain unbiased toward popularity contests and awarding their buddies in the field... I hold a small glimmer of hope that maybe, just maybe, my #1 film of 2014 just might have a chance of shaking things up on Sunday.

Fingers (and drumsticks) crossed!

(Then go see Whiplash after the show. You won't regret it.)

2014 Year in Review

Not a best of, not a worst of... just the things I feel like talking at you about in this year's Pop Culture wrap-up.

And, as always, all red links lead to good things!

AT THE MOVIES:

• Gone Girl: The year's most thrilling, mind-bending, titillating mystery that I really wish I hadn't brought my mother along to see.

• John Wick: A most welcome return to the gratuitous action genre. The body count, innumerable. I literally left the theater exhausted. And, if Keanu Reeves can keep up with that much cardio at the age of 50, I have absolutely no excuse for skipping my evening walk.

• Birdman: Michael Keaton's back! Michael Keaton is BACK!! And, he's going to win an Oscar! Although, I'm in the minority by having my critiques of some of the directing choices in Alejandro Gonzalez Inarritu's stunner/comeback vehicle for Keaton, I cannot deny the flawless acting from each and every one of its stars and costars. If this film does not win the prize for Outstanding Cast at this year's SAG Awards, I completely give up on Hollywood.

• The Interview: So, I'm not much a fan of stoner comedies, or graphic vulgarity, or needlessly explicit language in film. I am pretty much immune to James Franco's smarm. I hated The 40-Year Old Virgin. I thought Knocked Up was good in concept, but veered off into bad taste once played out. That said, I'm a fan of Seth Rogen as a person (ie. talk show guest) and, potentially, a writer (if he'd put down that bong for five seconds.) I loved Freaks and Geeks. I liked Funny People. But, was I willing to risk terrorist threat to be "in on" his latest endeavor? Apparently so, because I did. And lived to tell about it. Was there drugs? Some. Was it vulgar? Yeah. Was there a needless amount of explicit language? Of course. But, did I laugh? Yes! Surprisingly, alot. I rank it on the same level as Tropic Thunder. If you did not like Tropic Thunder, you will not like this. If you're still not sure if it's not for you, check out Eminem's hilarious cameo and then decide.

• Hunger Games: Mockingjay Part I: I am so unbelievably hooked on the Hunger Games series for someone who had avoided it for a whole year, based on the mere concept alone. And, as if Jennifer Lawrence wasn't perfect enough with her flawless hair, flawless face, flawless body and hysterical sense of humor. Now we find out she can sing pretty amazingly in a minor key as well. Oh well! It's impossible to hate her. You can only wish to grow up to be just like her. (Even if you're practically twice her age.) 

• Big Hero 6: I call this the animated movie that offers the perfect segue for kids approaching PG-13 territory. There were explosions, action, drama, laughter and tears. (So many tears! I literally cried a contact lens right out of my eye!) I did have to warn a few younger viewers away from seeing it, though. That villain was a little too creepy for the Disney princess set. (Click here for some images to decide for yourself.)

And, Let's Talk About This: Night at the Museum: Secret of the Tomb. One of the worst movies my nephews dragged me to this year, that ended with the most unexpected and heartbreaking goodbye from Robin Williams. (This year's award season In Memoriam is going to be a rough one!)

I Missed It! Whiplash. Damn you, metro-Detroit theaters and your minuscule window for seeing anything that's not a blockbuster. This one is on the grab-it-as-soon-as-it-comes-to-DVD list.

Can't Wait for in 2015: A Most Violent Year, American Sniper, Pitch Perfect 2, Inherent Vice, Black Mass and... okay, fine, let's finish it off... Hunger Games: Mockingjay Part II.

IN MUSIC:

• There were many mentions of butts.

   Moving on...

ON TV:

• Gotham (Fox): This prequel to all things Batman had me a little nervous at first. How are they going to drag out the legacy of Batman in the twenty or so years it is going to take for young Bruce Wayne to become the Caped Crusader? So many characters crossing paths so soon! But then I simply sat back, relaxed, and learned to enjoy the ride. P.S. Middle-aged Alfred Pennyworth is a total badass.

• Gracepoint (Fox): The American remake of the UK's Broadchurch miniseries was the biggest nail-biter on the small screen this year. The coastal smalltown murder mystery kept me guessing and defending my case for its entire ten episode duration and provided that best water-cooler talk of 2014. (It's still playing On Demand if you missed it!)

• Drunk History (Comedy Central): The biggest belly laughs I had while watching TV this year were while sitting sober and watching drunk people try to explain (in great detail!) some of the biggest historical events in America. Check it out on YouTube, Comedy Central and full episodes now on DVD. 

• The Mindy Project (Fox): I couldn't get into The Mindy Project in its first season. I felt like it was trying too hard to be the next Ally McBeal or something. But, in its second season, I gave it another chance, once it became more character-centric and less wannabe-chick flick. By Season Three, the show has really hit its stride. And, what?!  Danny Castellano is dancing out of nowhere! What's going on? And, why do I like it so much?!

• Wahlburgers (A&E): When Donnie and Mark Wahlberg were growing up in Dorchester, MA, the neighborhood taunters used to call them the "Wahlburgers". So, they grew up, became multi-kazillionaires, then opened a successful chain of burger joints with their older brother Paul. They call the chain Wahlburgers. You may also call it the last laugh. Now A&E has decided the Wahlberg clan of nine siblings, led by matriarch Alma, are entertaining enough to have their own reality show. I agree. Last last laugh. (Also, keep an eye out for the real Entourage.)

• The Little Couple (TLC): Still my vote for the most perfect family on the planet Earth. The 2014 season of The Little Couple led Bill and Jen through the highs of adoption and the lows of Jen's battle with cancer. Your heart will melt for these two (now, four.) And, if I ever met someone who is half the man Bill Klein is, I would consider myself the luckiest woman in the world.

• Every Simpsons Ever (FXX): FXX has found a cure for the Nothing-Is-On blues that can strike at any given time with their seemingly-endless running Every Simpsons Ever marathon.

• Eaten Alive (Discovery): Did you miss the Discovery Channel's Eaten Alive special? The one where idiot "scientist", Paul Rosolie, volunteers to be "eaten alive" by the largest anaconda on earth, all in the name of conservation and research? Count your blessings. I sat through the two hour ordeal just for you! Read about it here.

And, Let's Talk About This: Duggars getting married left and right. Never before did long skirts and chastity make a spinster feel so... spinstery.

And, What About That: 

The Most Entertaining Academy Award Show Ever!

I Missed It! True Detective and Fargo. Come on, Netflix! Bring me up to speed already!

Can't Wait for in 2015: Breaking Bad prequel, Better Call Saul.

ON THE WEB:

• Listen Linda... just listen! I can't decide if little Mateo will be going into politics or sales one day. I do know that he will surely find a way to make more money (and cupcakes) than the rest of us, though. 

• Little Girl Picks a Fight With Gaston at Disney World. Because that's what you do when you wait in line for over an hour for an autograph!

• This meme.

• These foreign Doritos with "kick".

OVER-HYPED in 2014 (and so, I refuse to add images):

• Ice Bucket Challenge: Newsflash! You can donate money to charity without risking hypothermia.
• Shia LeBeouf and all his self-produced drama: You're "not famous anymore". So, go away already.
• Jaden and Willow Smith: They're so much smarter than us all now. Didn't you hear?
• George Clooney Wedding: He's found love and is happy. Scandalous!
• Kimye Wedding: I threw up in my mouth a little, then forgot about it.

Speaking of throwing up...

• Bill Cosby: What is up with you?! I am in mourning for the loss of my TVland reruns. I am also mad on behalf of Cockroach, for you taking away from him the only royalties he makes these days.

I am now extremely tired and will lazily conclude with Funny Spellchecks Suggested in the Making of this Post (that, at least, were funny to me at 1:00 am): Birdman = Batman (go figure!); Stoner = stonier; Inarritu's = linearity's; Mockingjay = Mackinac; Gracepoint = grease paint;  Wahlberg = wallboard; Wahlburgers = vegeburger; Dorchester = chestier; Netflix = Norfolk; Shia = Shiva; LeBeouf = beef.

See you in 2015!

Oscars 2014

♫  It's a wonderful night for Oscar... Oscar, Oscar. ♫ 

I came this close to missing it because I got bored during the lackluster Red Carpet preview and almost forgot to turn back to the TV once the show started.

What went wrong on the Red Carpet? Nobody looked bad, which is a plus. Everybody just looked "blah". 

These last few award seasons, the stars have been going all out with color and fun for the Golden Globes and then playing it much too safe come Oscar night.

The first problem of the night, TOO MUCH BEIGE!!! 

It's as if everyone overbooked the same stylist who, for lack of inspiration and in a award-season panic, decided to pull life-sized pantyhose over the heads of the most famous bodies in the business, all the while assuring them of how great this will look great on camera. Not only did it not photograph well, but it gave me Winter Olympics flashbacks that it's just much too soon for me to be having. (And, at least Johnny Weir would have added feathers!)

Pretty and unoffensive were American Hustle's Amy Adams and Jennifer Lawrence's matching column dresses. (Adams in Gucci, Lawrence in Dior.) It was nice to see a pop of color and a few ladies who remember to structure from underneath. (I won't mention those who forgot their Spanx last night...)

Speaking of color!

How adorable was Lupita Nyong'o whipping around in her princess train all night?

Proving once again that she has the body and complexion to make any dress in any color look good (and winning bonus points for the mohawk-headband combo) she had my vote for Best Dressed on the Red Carpet.

But, then the show started and I saw Catherine Martin accept her award for Costume Design and I had to change my vote for best dressed.

The men showed up the ladies a bit by planning a white jacket conspiracy.

Pharrell even gave his wife an honorary invitation to this boy's club, for if only one night.

There's not much else to see here, so onto the show!

Ellen stepped up to hosting duties for a second time and played the part more as Delightful Party Hostess than M.C., but that's okay. Me likey!

From her clean-cut razzing of the nominees to her calling Hollywood out on its lack of education. ("Between all the nominees here tonight, you've done over 1400 films, 1400 films, and you've gone to a total of six years of college.") She never crossed the line and she usually brought the laughs.

The delightful thing about Ellen Degeneres is that she so good-natured that she can even get away with calling Liza Minnelli a drag queen. (Eliciting this sisterly response out of  Lorna Luft.)

Liza didn't care.  She was so excited to be welcomed by the Academy to its most sacred event, that she thanked them by acting like a pill all night.

First by annoyingly tugging on Ellen's arm while she was trying to take a joint selfie. (In Liza's defense, she didn't seem to understand the term "selfie".)

Exhibit B: She held poor Lupita Nyong'o hostage in the aisle while the Best Supporting Actress was trying to politely make her way up to the statuette that was waiting for her onstage. (Cute hair though, Liza!)

Lupita's win started a trend of acceptance speeches for the night. That trend being speeches that were actually genuine, heartfelt and appreciative. This made up for the fact that there were no real upsets or surprises in the big acting categories and it seemed to keep the band from playing anyone off stage.

Among the musical performances, I was surprised at all the nervous crackling that came from mouths of some of our most famous songstresses. 

U2 performed up to par and offered a bit of bonus entertainment when Bono kneeled to the ground and almost crawled off stage in his two-inch heels. (Tinted glasses and darkened rooms aren't usually a smart mix.) 

My favorite performance of the night was my boo, Pharrell Williams, jauntily singing "Happy" while simultaneously preventing forest fires. 

He even made the extra effort to trot offstage and take turns dancing with the female nominees that were seated in the front row. Starting with Lupita, swaying in her Nairobi blue. Moving on to Meryl, who busted out some seated Mama Mia moves. And, ending with Amy Adams, who cast an adorable "I killed this dance-off!" look on her face as she sat back down.

Other highlights included the largest celebrity megaselfie that, supposedly, shut down Twitter with its overload of reTweets.

(In that selfie moment, pesty Liza Minnelli got left out of the cool crowd that even Lupita Nyong'os nonfamous brother was eagerly welcomed into. "Back here! I know what a selfie is now! It's me, guys! Liza, with a 'Z'!")

At one point, Ellen sensed the hunger rippling through the crowd that had been onsite for hours and suggested ordering some pizza. I thought to myself, "If she really follows through with the pizza bit, Ellen will be my hero." So, in thirty minutes or less, I obtained a new hero.

She and a Big Mama and Papa's Pizza delivery man handed out hot slices to the hungry elite. (I'm venturing a guess that the Minnelli clan may have also left out of the grub.)

This was all fun, but there was one moment that has me still chuckling today.

No, it wasn't Jennifer Lawrence tripping and falling, once again. Been there, done that.

Was it Ellen introducing Kristen Bell and "Kristen B. Elle"?  Close.

It was John Travolta bringing out Idina Menzel to perform "Let it Go", but nonsensically referring to her as "The wickedly talented, one and only, Adele Dazeem!"

I thought I had heard him wrong during the broadcast. But, by morning, the internet had confirmed for me that John Travolta cannot read a teleprompter.

It wasn't even funny at the time. But, once a slight gaffe meets the bored hands of its witnesses, all funny heck breaks loose!

Oscar bloopers. The gift that keep on giv-ziggi-ning!