There's nothing more hilarious and head-shake-worthy than seeing a young person post one of those duck-faced selfies online. Posted with the impression that the world will come to the obvious conclusion that they are so very sexy and mysterious.
The giggling over-30s in the audience are amused by the fact that they look more silly than sexy and less mysterious than, well... somewhat congested and constipated. But, we let them have their fun.
Why? Because, apparently, once we start cleaning out old picture files from our own hard drives, we also find ourselves in danger of unearthing some pretty embarrassing shots we'd forgotten about. (Yes, we.)
Some appear to be attempts at updating our profile pics, shots in the car are obvious results of our lunchtime boredom and there are usually several folders labeled "Test" which accumulated after we broke two, yes TWO, cameras in the span of 2011. (I'm still sticking with "we" here, folks!)
The glaring difference is that adults takes selfies for strictly grown-up purposes:
Because our caring Facebook friends would never forgive us if we let a sunburn go undocumented.
Because toenail polish changes are a must for the family album. We need at least 20 of these per year.
Because the world has no idea how adorably casual we look when reading privately in the backyard in our LBDs.
Because we grown-ups understand that a mirror alone can't be trusted when figuring out a new haircut.
Because sometimes we have to selflessly document dye jobs for blog posts.
Because sometimes we need proof that we're still as cool as the people on our t-shirts.
Because we secretly buy real fox tails up north on vacation and we'd like to keep the un-P.C. secret between us and our hard drives.
Because no one's going to honestly tell us that we don't look cute when scrunching up our noses. We have to take one of these to find out the truth.
Because every adult is curious how their crow's feet hold up in EXTREME CLOSEUP.
And, because we're finally at that age where we actually are too sexy for the shower curtain.
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