Selfie Confessional

There's nothing more hilarious and head-shake-worthy than seeing a young person post one of those duck-faced selfies online.  Posted with the impression that the world will come to the obvious conclusion that they are so very sexy and mysterious. 

The giggling over-30s in the audience are amused by the fact that they look more silly than sexy and less mysterious than, well... somewhat congested and constipated. But, we let them have their fun.

Why?  Because, apparently, once we start cleaning out old picture files from our own hard drives, we also find ourselves in danger of unearthing some pretty embarrassing shots we'd forgotten about. (Yes, we.)

Some appear to be attempts at updating our profile pics, shots in the car are obvious results of our lunchtime boredom and there are usually several folders labeled "Test" which accumulated after we broke two, yes TWO, cameras in the span of 2011. (I'm still sticking with "we" here, folks!)

The glaring difference is that adults takes selfies for strictly grown-up purposes:

Because our caring Facebook friends would never forgive us if we let a sunburn go undocumented.

Because toenail polish changes are a must for the family album. We need at least 20 of these per year.

Because the world has no idea how adorably casual we look when reading privately in the backyard in our LBDs.

Because we grown-ups understand that a mirror alone can't be trusted when figuring out a new haircut.

Because sometimes we have to selflessly document dye jobs for blog posts.

Because sometimes we need proof that we're still as cool as the people on our t-shirts.

Because we secretly buy real fox tails up north on vacation and we'd like to keep the un-P.C. secret between us and our hard drives.

Because no one's going to honestly tell us that we don't look cute when scrunching up our noses.  We have to take one of these to find out the truth.

Because every adult is curious how their crow's feet hold up in EXTREME CLOSEUP.

And, because we're finally at that age where we actually are too sexy for the shower curtain.

My Favorite Places: Frederik Meijer Gardens

When Michiganders think of "Meijer", we think of the discount chain that's the Mitten State's answer to Walmart.  But, take a day trip to Grand Rapids and you'll find a very classy twist to the discount name.

Frederik Meijer Gardens and Sculpture Park is 132 acres of the most amazing horticultural and sculptural art displays that the region has to offer.  This is no red-tag sale art display either.  A meander through the outdoor park will find you encountering works from the likes of Rodin, Pomodor, Keith Haring to name a few.  

 Inside, turn a bend in the Victorian Greenhouse and you'll encounter a Degas and yet another Rodin, casually mixed amongst the flora.  In addition to the Victorian Greenhouse, indoor attractions include a tropical greenhouse (complete with waterfall), a carnivorous garden, ever-changing collections of international art displays, a delicious cafe (Try any menu item made with wheat berry bread.  You won't regret it!)  and gift shop that I just couldn't leave alone.

But, let's head back outdoors for awhile.  Hope you're wearing your comfiest walking shoes! There's so much to see (allow, at least, a full morning or afternoon for your visit.)  Every turn will lead you winding down another path you didn't realize existed. Sculptures, gardens, a waterfall that pours into the most gorgeous koi pond.

Not to mention the beautiful amphitheater that hosts an A-list concert series throughout the summer months.

Most importantly, don't forget to pack a camera!  There are too many priceless photo-ops to pass up.  You'll lose your inhibitions as you encounter troves of other visitors who refuse to miss out on the chance to drop their guard and allow life to mimic art for a day.

Mad Mom, by Tom Otterness. (Joined by mine.)

Light of the Moon, by Igor Mitoraj.  (He's a-pickin', I'm a grinnin'!)

Aria, by Alexander Liberman must be experienced from the inside out!

Louise Bourgeois created this Spider.  I'm the one who squished it!

More highlights from the Sculpture Park:

Espaliered Girl, by Laura Ford

Figure on a Trunk, by Madalena Abankanowicz

 I, You, He or She, by Jaume Plensa

 Eve, by Auguste Rodin

Tools in Their Places, by Jim Dine (I guess that's where they go!)

Large Parrot Screams Color, also by Dine

Small Dryfork Horse, by Deborah Butterfield

Julia, by Keith Haring (Bet you thought he only did t-shirts!)

Listening to History, by Bill Woodrow

Sculpture Park Tip: At the entrance of the outdoor park, near the amphitheater and across from the Children's Garden, you'll find the tram station.  Tram tours depart about every half hour and cost a mere $3 per guest.  The tram can't squeeze down every single nook and cranny, but the narrated tour is quite comprehensive and worth much more than the price of admission.  Tickets are first come-first serve, so get to the station well before your desired departure time.

Speaking of the Children's Garden:

The art collection found in the Children's Garden rivals the quality of the pieces found in the "grown up" areas of the park.  

(Click any photo to enlarge.)

  

Kids also won't want to miss the chance to sail a toy vessel around the garden's "Great Lakes".

I can't forget the biggest (and, I mean BIGGEST) attraction at the park:

The da Vinci designed American Horse

A photo op, not, to be miss by any visitor.  Learn more about this larger than life equine by clicking here and here.

Frederik Meijer Gardens is easily found right off of I-96 in Grand Rapids, and is well worth the drive for any art buff, horticultural fanatic or amateur photographer of any age. 

Bring the kids, bring the grandparents. The park is easily accessible to every age group and special need.  Hope to see your pictures next!

To Do List

Everyone keeps asking me my plans for after my workplace closes this week.  I'm pretty sure, they mean what are my plans for employment.  I have a to do list.  It just doesn't have much to do with a 401K plan:

1. Get back to blogging more often.
2. Go see at least 1/3 of the the Best Picture Oscar nominees, before the ceremony for once.
3. Clean my desk.
4. Clean my room.
5. Clean my linen closet.
6. Catch up on sleep.
7. Read a pile of books.
8. Attempt to relearn how to use a sewing machine.
9. Attempt to make a quilt. (I was inspired by a Susana Allen Hunter exhibit at the Henry Ford Museum six years ago and never found the time to sit down and get to it.  Love her free-form, pattern-free style!  Haven't forgotten it after all these years.)
10. Attempt to make a Pioneer Woman-inspired owl pillow.
11. Look into opening an Etsy store (if I can manage to pull off goals 8-10. But, no pressure if I can't.)
12. Get back into painting/drawing.
13. Finish that darn Christmas project.
14. Take some new pictures.
15. Visit a museum or two.
16. Get back to the eye doctors and finally get contacts back in my eyeballs.
17. Exercise.  For real this time!
18. Grow out my bangs a half-inch.  (You should see them.  I trimmed them wet this time and they're hideous!)
19. Make a new recipe.
20. Be inspired enough to add to this list.

Don't worry.  Somewhere in the 20's will also be "figure out life" and "get a new job".  I'm still planning on being a contributing member of society.  I just need a fresh head first!

The Christmas Gift

My siblings and I stopped swapping Christmas gifts a few years ago so we could focus on spoiling each other's children instead.  Since we've made that decision (and since I have no children of my own, ie. much more free time then the rest), my tradition has been to make something for my two sisters and brother.  This usually ends up being some sort of compilation of the pictures and/or home videos I'd taken of their kids throughout the past year.  (I'm not a knitter or at all into potpourri.)  However, this year's crop of photography came up short on some kids with an excess of others, and barely any home videos to boot.

Then, while skimming through some of my mom's old photo albums featuring us as kids, I came upon the "brilliant" idea of scanning our old family photos, restoring them as best I could and burning each sibling a DVD so we could all have access to the family albums.

I'm still convinced this was a brilliant idea, but seeing that it's now January 14th and I'm not done yet... it may have been an overly ambitious one.

Here's some things I've learned about photo restoration.  (P.S. I'm not working with any fancy-schmancy Photoshop or professional computer program.  Just the basic editing tools that came with my standard Windows Vista package.)

1.)  Black and white matte photos from the 1940's-60's are a dream to work with!  They scan great and crisp up real nicely with a little contrast and sharpening help.

2.)  1960's-70's color matte prints spruce up great too!  Alot of these seemed to scan with a purplish tint though, so tint and color adjustment can be necessary.  Faded prints can be brought back to vibrancy with contrast and saturation adjustments, but sometimes this can lead to a Warhol-esque effect.  (I kinda like that though...)

3.)  Once the film world turned to glossy prints, aged photos got a lot trickier to deal with.  I'm finding glossy prints from the late 70's and entire 80's to be a bit harder to fix the color on.

This is with full green tint!  You should have seen the "before"!

 4.)  Some faded prints are impossible to work with.  No amount of contrast, sharpening or color work seems to fix the pea soup wash that doesn't want to leave.  With these, I'm just turning down the saturation (to lessen the pea soup effect) and sticking with the faded look.

5.)  80's film sharpens nice, but once you've sharpened facial features with happy results, you'll see a thousand scratches that have accumulated over the years and every trace of Scotch tape that your mom used in making the album.  This is when I discovered Windows Live Photo Gallery has a "retouch" editing tool (and there hasn't been an honest zitless, crow's feetless picture of me published to Facebook since this discovery was made.)

Scotch tape and dark curtains that show every scratch. My mortal enemies!

Wood grain furniture with plaid cushions.  A retouching tool's nightmare!

1985, the year of the unicorn.  AND, dark denim that shows every scratch!

This one restored nicely, but was simply too cute not to share.

And, that's where my progress has left off.  In the middle of the 80's with a scratch-removal induced migraine.  Three-and-a-half albums down, half of one to go!

Well, I guess I could use this three-day weekend to get back to work on the project instead of just blogging about it.  Then maybe my siblings will get to see the finished product by the time the Easter Bunny comes around.

If you have a scanner (mine's just an el cheapo from Target) and any basic photo editing tools, retouching your old photos is not out of reach.  If you're not sure what your basic computer system has to offer, open one of your recent digital pictures and click "edit" to see what options it gives you.  "Sharpening" turned out to be my biggest savior, but I know some older versions of Windows only have the basic Contrast/Saturation/Tint, etc. package.  Wonders can still be done with these basic tools!  All you need is a little free time to experiment and a bucket-load of patience.

Once your old photos are downloaded to your computer you can share them with the world!  Or, just your family, or hog them to yourself... it's up to you.  The kids love it when I burn an album to DVD so they can watch themselves on tv.  Having your pictures digitized opens the door to emailing them, uploading them to your favorite sites, or simply restoring them so you can print off new copies for framing or scrapbooking.

Alot has changed in the picture-taking world since we were young.  But, to me, photos of any kind are still the greatest family heirlooms.